The Truth About Change: Why Emotional Resilience Begins Where Resistance Ends
- Tricia Parido
- 9 minutes ago
- 3 min read
Change doesn’t ask for permission. It doesn’t wait until you’re ready. It doesn’t care if you’re exhausted, confused, or still trying to hold things together.
Change just… is.
And when we resist it — when we tighten our grip, double down on the familiar, or delay what we already know—we don’t stop change. We just stall our own emotional evolution.
What You Resist, Controls You
Most people aren’t resisting change itself. They’re resisting what change requires of them — to let go of control, identity, comfort, even long-held beliefs. But here’s the honest to goodness truth: “Resistance to change isn’t strength. It’s a survival strategy. And survival mode isn’t living.”
When you cling to what was, you’re not protecting yourself. You’re outsourcing your peace to the illusion of control. You’re handing your emotional state to external variables—circumstances, people, outcomes—hoping they won’t shift.
Let’s get real clear here: That’s not resilience. That’s reactivity.
Locus of Control: The Hidden Player in Resistance
If you’ve worked with me... or been through my Insight & Impact or Live for Yourself First curriculum... you’ve heard me say this:
“Anything you rely on (or allow) to bring you — or take from you — your peace, joy, comfort, relief, value, validity, or worthiness… owns you.”
That is the real Locus of Control. And it’s the root of resistance.
When your internal state is outsourced to your environment, you grip harder. You wait for other people to change. You postpone hard decisions. You bury your needs under “shoulds.” You armor up in perfectionism, people-pleasing, or apathy.
Why? Because on some level, it feels safer to suffer predictably than to evolve uncomfortably.
But that safety is false. It’s borrowed. And it will cost you your growth.
Emotional Resilience Isn’t Built in Calm
Let’s throw out the fairytale: Resilience doesn’t come from mantras or mood boards or waiting for the chaos to pass. It’s built in the storm... when you decide to stay emotionally congruent, even when nothing around you is certain.
That’s not easy. But it is simple.
Start by asking: What am I pretending not to know? What am I resisting because it would require me to grow? And what is this moment inviting me to become?
These are uncomfortable questions (true) but they are emotional agility in motion.
Let Them (and Let It)
If you’ve heard Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” movement, you know the power of non-interference. Let people misunderstand you. Let them opt out. Let them believe you’ve changed (because you have).
Let the old dynamics fall away.
Now let’s expand it: Let it change. Let the job shift. Let the season close. Let the discomfort come. Let the version of you that no longer fits… go.
When you “let them” and “let it,” you stop wasting energy on protection and start investing in progression.
That’s emotional maturity. That’s radical self-leadership. That’s resilience.
What’s Already Happening… Is Happening
We spend so much energy resisting things that have already occurred.
The relationship has already changed.
The goal has already outgrown you.
The season has already ended.
Your job now isn’t to wrestle the past into submission. It’s to meet the moment with integrity.
Integrity doesn’t mean getting it perfect. It means responding to what is, not what you wish it still was.
You Get to Choose
Let me borrow from Jen Sincero’s brilliance for a moment:
“You get to choose.”
And that’s what this week is about: You get to choose what you cling to. You get to choose what you create space for. You get to choose whether change becomes your breakdown... or your breakthrough.
That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It means you’ll be honest.
And honesty? That’s the root of resilience.
Journal Prompts to Take This Deeper:
What am I currently resisting in my life?
What emotional “cost” is that resistance having on me?
What would happen if I stopped gripping and started listening?
Where have I outsourced my peace or worth to something external?
What’s one area I can practice responding to what is this week?
Your Next Step
This is the kind of work we do weekly inside the Insight & Impact Focus Group — where emotional agility isn’t just taught, it’s practiced. If this landed for you, explore the deeper conversations happening right now in November’s theme: Embracing Change & Building Emotional Resilience.
We’re not afraid of the messy middle. We’re mastering it.
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