Stop Outsourcing the Truth: Why Taking Ownership Isn’t About Blame — It’s About Becoming
- Tricia Parido
- Oct 9
- 3 min read
We need to talk about a word that makes people flinch.
Accountability.
It sounds rigid. Heavy. Like something you get punished with. But what if we claimed it?
What if accountability wasn’t a weapon — but a gateway?
Because here’s what I know to be factual: Every time you say “it’s not my fault,” “this always happens to me,” or “they made me feel like this,” you’re not wrong… But you are handing away your power.
And that’s not freedom. That’s outsourcing the truth.
Excuses Aren’t the Problem — They’re the Signal
We often treat excuses like character defects — shameful, lazy, or selfish behaviors we should eliminate. But that’s just emotional noise. Most excuses are protecting something tender: unspoken fear, identity confusion, or a values conflict you don’t have language for yet.
“I didn’t have time” might mean: I don’t feel safe showing up as I am. “I wasn’t in the right mindset” might mean: This thing feels out of alignment with my deeper beliefs.
Avoidance is wisdom until it becomes sabotage. It’s not about getting rid of excuses — it’s about translating them.
Ownership Starts with Translation, Not Force
You cannot build ownership on top of shame. But you can build it on top of awareness.
So we ask:
Where am I overexplaining or over-apologizing?
What emotional pattern am I calling “a habit” when it’s really fear?
Who taught me that I had to feel guilty for saying no, or uncertain, or not ready?
When you see the full emotional thread behind a behavior, the need for the excuse disappears.
Not because you “got better,” but because you got clearer.
Values Are the Missing Link
Here’s where it gets even more honest: Most people are making decisions based on obligations, fear, or outdated conditioning — not their actual values.
And when your decisions are out of sync with your values?
Avoidance, resentment, and reactivity follow.
This is where ownership becomes transformational.
You’re not just saying, “I did that.” You’re saying...
“I see where that came from. I know why it’s not aligned. And I’m ready to choose differently.”
That’s a moment of evolution.
How to Start Building Your Ownership Muscle
It’s not about willpower. It’s about clarity.
Here’s how you start:
Catch yourself in an “excuse” and ask, “What emotion am I trying not to feel?”
Pause before reacting. Not everything that feels urgent is important.
Get clear on your values. Not what you think you should value. What actually feels like integrity in your body.
Track what you’re avoiding — emotionally, logistically, relationally — and get curious instead of critical.
Speak truth to yourself, not shame. Language matters. Shift from “I failed” to “I’m recognizing a mismatch.”
When You Stop Outsourcing the Truth… You Stop Outsourcing Your Power
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about personal agency.
When you own your thoughts, your energy, your choices — even the ones you don’t like — you unlock emotional freedom.
You stop chasing alignment and start living it.
You’re not a project that needs to be fixed.
You’re learning to lead yourself with clarity and congruence.
And that’s what Total Emotional Performance™ is all about.
🔗 Want help identifying your patterns, values, and power moves?
Dive into the Insight & Impact Focus Group or explore the Live for Yourself First foundational program — both inside the Total Emotional Performance App. You don’t need to figure it all out first. You just need to start somewhere honest.
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