If Your Inner Voice Had a Face, Would You Punch It or Hug It?

Let’s cut through the noise.

If your inner voice had a face, it probably wouldn’t be welcome at brunch. 

It wouldn’t be invited to your birthday. 

Hell, it probably wouldn’t even get a “like” on your most vulnerable post.

But here’s the wild part:

You still believe it. You let it narrate your mornings, judge your parenting, trash your progress, and question whether or not you should even go after what you want.

And it’s exhausting.

I know this voice well.

Mine used to sound like a motivational speaker on a five-day fast—hyped up, hollow, and one snide comment away from emotional sabotage. She told me I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t feeling enough, wasn’t proving enough. And then she’d wonder why I couldn’t sleep at night.

Sound familiar?

Here’s what most people don’t realize: Your inner voice isn’t “you.” It’s a highlight reel of every criticism, shame-trigger, and societal expectation you’ve absorbed since you learned how to spell your name. And if you don’t call it out, it runs the whole damn show.

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But let’s slow this down and name it straight:

Your self-talk is either training your nervous system to trust you… or training it to fear your own feedback.

It’s either sharpening your resilience or making you emotionally flinch every time something goes sideways.

And the worst part? We normalize it. We call it “just being realistic.” We say things like:

• “I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

• “I’m being hard on myself because I have high standards.”

• “If I don’t push myself, who will?”

🙄 Stop. You’re not pushing. You’re punishing. And it shows.

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So what now? What do we do with that voice?

We rewrite it. With intentional language. With compassion that doesn’t coddle, but coaches. With truth that isn’t rooted in performance or perfection, but actual lived reality.

Here’s the simple practice I gave my group this week — and now I’m giving it to you:

Old Thought	Rewritten Thought
“You’re behind.”	“You’re moving at the exact pace that matches your season.”
“You always screw this up.”	“You’re still unlearning old patterns—and that takes courage, not perfection.”
“You’re too much.”	“Maybe I’m not too much. Maybe they’re just emotionally dehydrated.” 🥤

Write it down. Say it out loud. Stick it on your damn mirror.

Because the way you speak to yourself in the quiet moments? That’s what builds the confidence you bring into the loud ones.

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Here’s what I’ll leave you with:

If someone else talked to you the way you talk to yourself… Would you call it honesty — or abuse?

Let’s stop pretending your self-talk is a character trait. It’s a pattern. And patterns can be changed.

So go ahead — give that voice a name. Call it Karen. Call it the Ghost of Christmas Codependency. Call it Todd. Then tell it, with love and finality:

“You don’t get the mic anymore.”

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Want help with that rewrite? This is exactly what we’re doing inside the Insight & Impact Focus Group. Join the movement where emotional agility becomes your normal. 

Join the Insight and Impact Focus Group